No, no, no, no, no, this sucker's electrical, but I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity I need.ĭoc, you don't just walk into a store and-and buy plutonium! Did you rip that off? Plutonium.Īre you telling me that this sucker is NUCLEAR? It requires something with a little more kick. Uh, does it run, like, on regular unleaded gasoline? Suddenly, the future's looking a *whole* lot better. I though for sure we'd all be wearing disposable paper garments by 1985. So, these are my personal belongings, huh?Ī hair dryer? Don't they have towels in the future? I like the sound of that.ĭoc, do you have a 75-ohm matching transformer? I *will* be mayor! I'll be the most powerful man in Hill Valley, and I'm gonna clean up this town. Mayor! Now *that's* a good idea! I could run for mayor. I'm going to night school, and one day, I'm gonna be somebody! No, sir! I'm gonna make something of myself. You think I'm gonna spend the rest of my life in this slop house? Don't you know, if you let people walk over you now, they'll be walking over you for the rest of your life. Say! Why do you let those boys push you around like that for? Whatever you've got to tell me, I'll find out through the natural course of time. Even if your intentions are good, it can backfire drastically! No! Marty! We've already agreed that having information about the future can be extremely dangerous. It's gonna be really hard waiting 30 years before I can talk to you about everything that's happened in the past few days. That I'm gonna have a chance to travel through time! Just knowing that I'm going to be around to see 1985. You've really made a difference in my life. You know, Marty, I'm gonna be very sad to see you go. Since when can weathermen predict the weather, let alone the future? Mostly clear, with some scattered clouds. Hill Valley area weather this Saturday night. Which is what makes time travel possible. And that's when you came up with the idea for the flux capacitor, You were standing on your toilet and you were hanging a clock, and you fell and you hit your head on the sink. The-the-the bruise on your head, I know how that happened. I've had enough practical jokes for one evening. Well worth reading.Then tell me, future boy, who's President of the United States in 1985?Īnd Jack Benny is secretary of the treasury. It was funny and actually quite touching. Moore sums it up best when he says “If one’s faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.” I can see how some Christians might possibly take offense to this irreverent look at Jesus’s life. I like how all Christopher Moore’s books are linked together in some way, even if they are separated by a couple thousand years. The book doesn’t go quite as far as The DaVinci Code saying that Jesus and Mary were married and had children, she is by no means a whore. The take on Mary Magdelene as Biff and Jesus’s childhood friend and a disciple is nice, actually, compared to her common portrayal as a prostitute. Raziel, The Stupidest Angel, is always hilarious and there was a nice cameo by Catch, the demon from Practical Demonkeeping. The conversations between Biff and Jesus really are the heart and soul of this book. Biff, being sarcastic and womanizing, is a perfect counterpoint to Jesus. But, oddly enough, it all works out in the end. Eventually, they head back to their homeland, and as you probably expect, Jesus gets tacked up to a couple of planks. They fight demons learn kung fu, yoga and Jew-do learn the ways of the Kama Sutra (well, Biff does anyway) raise the dead become Buddhists battle bandits heal the sick get hit with sticks ride an elephant and even hang out with a yeti. Like say, what the hell Jesus was up to between ages 12 and 30? Apparently, a lot.īiff and Jesus travel across the world, tracking down the three wise men who visited Jesus at his birth. The book is told from the perspective of Biff, resurrected by the angel Raziel in modern times, who is charged with writing a new gospel because there was a lot of stuff left out of the other four. Lamb tells the story of Levi bar Alphaeus, “Biff,” Jesus’s best friend, and their wacky adventures. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore
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